Many people have difficulty understanding the Courts approach to resolving disputes between separating parents, both of whom want to remain a strong, contributing presence in the lives of their child(ren).
A determination of custody is often and incorrectly understood as defining where and with whom the child(ren) will live. Contrary to this notion, custody in a legal dispute setting is more properly understood to refer to the legal authority to make important life decisions about the child(ren) before they are able to act for themselves.
These decisions should not be equated with the exercise of everyday guidance, care and control born out from birth to adulthood. They instead represent the kind of pivotal, foundational and sometimes emergent decisions associated with choosing and changing a course of education (where they will go to school), religious and moral training (if and where they will be baptized), and incidence of a plan of health care (whom will act as family physician and dentist, as well as what to do in life threatening circumstances, as necessary), etc.
When one parent is awarded sole custody of the child(ren) by the Court, they effectively have the authority to make these decisions unilaterally. When the Court awards a joint custody arrangement, these decisions must then be made between the parents by consensus.